I find that when I am wrestling with a question the universe challenges me by adding fuel to my musings. Not answers, really. Just more angles to consider.
A few months ago a good friend asked me to read his WIP, a memoir. I read the first few chapters, and then slowed down and started again. His writing made two things very clear. First, that this is a painful mining of his past. And second, that he is a very talented writer. But, in my opinion, telling the truth was getting in the way of telling the story.
And then I heard an interview of an author who had written a novel that was based on the death of his wife. When asked why it wasn’t a memoir, he said that it was his truth but that others, including and especially his wife’s mother, would disagree with his truth. Deciding to make the book a novel freed him up to go to dark places, and tell the story completely.
And then the Mike Daisey/This American Life story broke. And truth v. storytelling, theater v. journalism and other points of discussion were parsed in many forums, and with high emotion. As a theater person I have had a number of conversations about this in the last week. But is it is the idea of memoir v. novel that I’ve been wrestling with as a writer.
Now, I value truth as much as anyone. And quantifiable truth should be respected. But to tell a good story (not a piece of journalism, a story) I think the truth gets in the way. Feeling that you have to adhere to a timeline, when condensing scenes or rearranging them would make it more powerful? Fiction wins. Having all five of your aunts in your story, when you could compile one composite aunt character to help the reader keep track? One aunt wins. Making those changes and still considering your work memoir? Doesn’t work.
And here’s the other reason I advocate making it up. You become braver. You make those emotional leaps you may avoid for fear of hurting feelings. Or you face your own truth, and spin it a bit so that you can tell it without panic. Or you can be harder on yourself, or easier. You can use your truth to inform the story, and use your craft to tell it the best way possible. And that may mean playing with the facts. Which makes it fiction.
And in fiction, truth is overrated.
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J.A. Hennrikus is the Executive Director of StageSource. She is a mystery writer who has her story “Her Wish” published in DEAD CALM, an anthology by Level Best Books. She is a huge social media fan, and tweets under @JulieHennrikus. She wrestles with allusions of athleticism, is an avid theater goer and a proud member of Red Sox nation. Her website is jahennrikus.com
I just wrote a post about how I struggle to write in my personal life when required (wedding vows and an upcoming eulogy as examples) and suggested for us fiction writers it seems far easier to filter our emotions through a character, where we can intensify, simplify or dull down as required. Thanks for the post
Thank you! And a eulogy is a struggle no matter what–take care.
I needed to read this today as I struggle with wanting to blog the truth and save it for a novel, which has always been my first goal! Thank you for writing this!
Writing a novel is a great goal–have fun and go for it! I write mysteries, which is such a great way to get rid of stress.
I would twist it a little more and say that truth isn’t the problem – instead, maybe it’s “the facts” that get in the way of truth. “Facts” are no objective, tend to be based more than we like in our own interpretation and discovery (we rarely have all the facts). And they hide the truth because we determine what’s truthy or not based on the facts as we know them. I’d go on and say they truth is even more subjective, but that’s because I think it’s much more based in relationship and being together (with each other and with each others’ interpretations of those same facts). But that’s just me,
Not just you. I agree–there are certain facts that are facts, like three oranges are three oranges, But anything about those oranges are another person’s truth. Thanks for the comment.
What I love about wordpress is realizing so many people have the same thoughts and feelings as I have. This post is one of them, nicely written
Thank you!
I have an almost-ready novel about a military pilot who has a lot of exciting flights. As any pilot will tell you, flying is ‘hours and hours of boredom interrupted by moments of sheer terror.” Who wants to read that? The truth in this story, titled Awol 21, is that the action is real, it has all happened by me or someone else; it just doesn’t happen to one person over the course of a whole career as a pilot.
I bet the story is great. I love learning about experiences I’ve never had (like piloting a plane). Good luck with the novel!
As a ghostwriter, I live by Mark Twain’s adage: Never let the facts get in the way of truth.
As a ghostwriter I bet you have some great stories of your own!
I’ve been struggling with this question for the last six months. In my case, I wonder if I tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, will I be believed? Will the impact of what happened mean as much if I brand my story as fiction?
I think that is a great question, and well worth wrestling with as you write. I wonder if you could brand it as a novelized memoir? Or it could be that the straight up story does the job you want it to. For me, writing fiction based on facts frees me up to be much braver with characters, and to highlight scenes with my light, rather than caring about balance. Lots to think about. Thanks for the comment!
i have been struggling with this since a lot of time..there are certain things i wanted to write about but fear of hurting sentiments would come in the way..i went ahead anyway, and played with the facts, covering them up in the form of a story or a narrative..and then as you called it, i got fiction
great post! thank you for sharing it!
Since characters have to come from some place of truth, using your life to tell a story is great. And it saves you from “hurting” people’s feelings. Though I have found people seldom recognize themselves. Thanks for the comment!
This post is very thought provoking for me. I am just writing a practice Journal about my life in preparation to hopefully be able to publish an autobiography in the future. I have been struggling with whether or not I should cheat a little on the events soemtimes. For one thing, I forget important things and then remember them later. I have found myself writting in the event but it is in a different scenario that it actually was, just so I can include it. I have a hard time with strying from facts but I really need to consider the readablilty of the story to those who will be reading it. There has to be ebb and flow and life isn’t always in rhythm like that. Thanks for making me feel better about that.
You are welcome. Thank you for the comment! And good luck with the autobiography, or life story.
Absolutely correct. I have tried to stay true to a factual account of a period in my life at one time or another. It turns into a boring history book piece, because it shuts out all of the other characters: I’m the only character, Blah.
Whenever I try and stick to the facts I get so hung up on the details it is crazy. And then I check my memory with one of my sisters and they remember it differently anyway. Thanks for the comment!
Thank you for this post. I struggle with what to share on my blog, wanting to be truthful, yet also wanting to protect my privacy and the privacy of my family. Not that I have some world-wide following or anything! But of course, whatever you put out is potentially viewable by anyone/everyone. I appreciate your point of view, and especially the realization that I can tell a story in such a way that is authentic and yet not a tell-all. ~ Sheila
I wrestle with blogs and even Facebook for the same reason. I feel like I always have to protect parts of myself, and my private life. It is a hard skill, but so necessary these days with social media and our connectedness.
Ive been writing for many years. Mostly personal, for school or on a subject im passionate about. Writing about your life can at times be haunting. Because your reliving events that you may not want to. Your right about how too many unnecessary details would make anyone lose interest in a piece unless the details are catching not confusing. Writing is difficult and frustrating at times. The more you write, the netter
I will give my characters my memories, which still make them painful, but they also help shield me to an extent. Thanks for the comment!
Everyones reality isnt the same! Two people can be in the same place an a see the same thing yet each will have a different perceptions of what took place.
So, so true. Which is why I love fiction–because isn’t everyone else’s reality your fiction anyway? Thanks for the comment!
Thank you for such an insightful post. I’ve always loved a good story…no matter what the exact truth is…I learn anyway =)
The best stories always take me the the author’s truth. It is the journey that counts. Thanks for the comment!
Great food for thought. I like the idea of fictionalizing memoir material, for the reasons you’ve mentioned and the one alreadynotpublished added. It seems that writing our life stories as fiction can go a long way in solving the problem of emotional overload. By creating a little distance, we can paint a broader, more objective picture.
I love this post– thank you!
Thank you! And I agree–writing leaves you bare, protect yourself when you can.
Some years ago I lived in Burkina Faso (West Africa) for a year and wrote memoir vignettes almost every day. When I heard about a short story contest I wanted to enter, I returned to fiction. It was so freeing! I could just make it all up.
Great post, Julie.
Thanks Edith. Making it all up, with wonderful experiences to draw on. Very cool.
On many levels I was touched. Just felt the urge to share. In ascertaining what is truth, depends upon our perspective. And even that tends to change, when enough time has entered in our lives, or so I have found.
Boy, is that true. As I get older, the shades of gray I am able to recognize amaze me. As I go through the phases of my life, I also recognize why choices were made. So interesting.
Excellent post, Julie, and a great contribution to the ongoing truth-in-writing question. And look at the conversations your post spawned!
As a poet, I struggle with this a lot as my material most often comes from personal current events and memories. With memories, however, I find more leeway…time spotlights details in ways the lived experience cannot. In this ways, memory, however flawed (or uncorroborated by siblings!) becomes the truth, but the truth of the present. (I’m echoing mondales’ comment above.) Is it fiction or non-fiction? That’s the author’s call, I think, and a question of how the piece is presented. (For poetry, the classification shifts–some shelf it in fiction, and some in non. The best outlets let it have its own bookcase!)
I do think there’s a line between creative non-fiction, or “memoir,” and journalism–the Mike Daisey/TAL scenario, case in point–two factories visited is not five factories visited in journalism. Though I also, on some level, question Daisey’s choice to amplify in the name of theatrical license rather than composite his experiences. It colors how I feel about the rest of the piece. Is it ALL inflated? (And if so, why do I care?) Then again, I suppose the size of the fish grows every time the story is told. Like telephone!
Truth is stranger than fiction, but often hard to believe. Thanks, again!
Ruth, I agree that there is a difference between creative non-fiction/memoir and documentary/journalistic art. As for poetry, as you know, this is a craft I admire, but I a gene I did not get. Thanks for the comment!
Heaven bless you. Relating truth can oft be boring to the bone. When faced with a choice, I tell my personal stories in a jazzed up version.
There is nothing better than a jazzed up story. Thanks for commenting!
The thing I like best about this blog is not just the thought provoking writing, but the attention you pay to each comment you receive. Thanks for taking the time.
Thank you for reading! And for the comment.
Julie, Thank you–this is just what I needed to read! I’m a “senior” writing student (age 60) in a Creative Nonfiction program. My WIP is a combination memoir/fantasy, so your post gave me a different perspective on my approach, along with some practical tips. Very helpful and I also appreciate the readers’ comments and your thoughtful responses. Great post!
Thank you. And have fun with your WIP. The weaving of memoir and fantasy sounds fascinating.
This is why I have not written a memoir, even a fictionalized version would be recognized. I don’t want to hurt feelings.
I agree–being aware of who your work affects and how is important. But if the story has to be told, changing some of the facts to protect the innocent is one way to go.
Your view of truth is similar to my own. Used as inspiration it is invaluable but we have all yawned at the stories people have recited when they are not embellished with a bit of fiction.
Agreed. As Ruth said earlier, the fish gets bigger every time you tell the story. And that is a good thing, most of the time.
J.A., I totally agree with you that we can plumb the essence of the truth and bring it up to the light of day much better in a novel rather than a memoir. Since we are each many different people at different times and places, why not take this and build a set of characters. Since we are in so many different locales in our minds on any given day, why not set the story in a wide variety of world settings to reflect this.
You make such a great point about us all being different people at different times. Maybe writing is one way to exorcise some of those past choices, and fix regrets? Thank you for the comment!
A great reminder – thank you. I have a “novel” I need to work on because the “memoir” isn’t working. The story is inspiring, but I think the storyteller needs to be my car. I know… how can a be a narrator? That’s what I’m working on figuring out.
Good luck with the change–I think a character named Gail could even help free the narrator–just refer to her as she, and not I. Best of luck.
Interesting concept… I’ll play with that.
Truth is about perception. Two people having the same experience will have different perceptions, different truths to relate about that experience. In writing, I don’t think it’s possible to call a memoir an absolute truth if you consider perspective. Truth is what we come up with after we take in all the information and process it in our mind. It can be accurate, but to some extent it’s also skewed because we analyze it subjectively. Making a book a novel IS a great way to delve into the dark side of life without causing additional conflict. Short stories are also a good way to write about a particular experience in a fictionalized context without “naming names”, merging basic details and character traits of family/friends/enemies, etc. without the finger-pointing.
Most of my writing is based upon my experiences – observations, direct contact, traumas, celebrations, life-changing events, you-name-it. I believe most writers incoporate personal truths into their writing – a little bit here, a little bit there. I can write about the truth of my own experiences, tell the story of how people and things affected or changed me without exposing either myself or the people I love. We’re all flawed, and memoir writing is risky business. It is a rare book that is sensitive and touching, yet shows pain and conflict truthfully. At worst, they mirror a bad reality TV show and for those…who cares? The absolute worst are CELEBRITY memoirs. Pah-leeze, spare us! I can’t even look at them in a bookstore without thinking, “Not AGAIN!”
Laura, I haven’t read any celebrity memoirs, but if you are comparing them to reality TV, I get your point.
Off the top of my head, I’m glad Frank McCourt and Mary Karr wrote from their hearts, and shared their “truths” as only they could. Good writers know interesting characters have flaws–memorists included.
Yes, very good examples of memoirs that are exceptional!
Mine’s next–haha.
Truth is perception of reality. So very true. Which is why when someone writes a memoir, and then someone else says there are lies in it, I don’t immediately get upset. People remember things so differently. Thanks for your comment.