Okay, so I got rejected.
I mentioned in an earlier post that I submitted my short story to be considered for an anthology, and I also submitted it to a contest (winner to be published in the anthology). I found out this past week that I didn’t win the contest and a few days later got an email stating my story didn’t make the anthology. This is what the editors said:
“Thanks so much for giving us the opportunity to consider… [your story.] It was a tough decision but, unfortunately, we will not be able to include your story in this year’s anthology.
It’s always so hard to say no to pieces that we have particularly enjoyed. Yet, inevitably our space limitations combined with finding just the right “mix” for the anthology force us to pass on many strong submissions.
We wish you good fortune in finding a home for your story and very much hope to see a submission from you again next year.
Best Regards,”
Now, my first thought when I read this was: Wow, they enjoyed my story! My second thought was: No, it’s just a form letter. I bet they thought it sucked.
Which thought would motivate you to keep writing?
Thought #1? Me, too.
So, I choose to believe the thought: Wow, they enjoyed my story! When I do, I get a feeling of satisfaction and I immediately want to rewrite the story and send it out again. Or, hey, what about my novel? That’s not ready to be submitted yet, but maybe I can work on it this weekend.
But let’s say I went with thought #2. How would you feel if you believed the thought that the editors thought the story sucked? Pretty lousy, huh? What would you feel motivated to do? Lie on the couch and eat ice cream? Yeah, that’s about right.
Whatever thought we have, if we choose to believe it, triggers a feeling. Based on that feeling, we take action. Our result depends on our action, and it usually proves the original thought. So if I believe the thought that the editors think my story sucked, my action is to do nothing constructive with my writing (wallowing doesn’t tend to be very useful) and my result is that my writing doesn’t improve.
Since the editors said they enjoyed reading my story and I have no proof that they didn’t, I’m going to stick with thought #1. That way, the next time I send the (reworked, rewritten, re-edited) story out, I just might get an acceptance letter!
What do you do when you get a rejection letter?
Diane MacKinnon, MD, is currently a full-time mother, part-time life coach. She is a Master Certified Life Coach, trained by Martha Beck, among others. She is passionate about her son, her writing and using her mind to create a wonderful present moment. Find her life coaching blog at http://www.dianemackinnon.com/blog.
I appreciate this post. Sound advice. Good luck!
Hi RichardB,
Thanks for reading and thanks for your good wishes!
Warmly,
Diane
Very true. If in doubt, always err on the side of kindness and good intentions. Good for you, I’m sure the next version will be much better.
Hi MarinaSofia,
Thanks for your comments and your good wishes. At this point in my (fiction) writing career, I think any rewrite is an improvement. Plus, it’s practicing my craft, so it’s all good!
Warmly,
Diane
Well, I’d say that since it is a short story and not a novel, it couldn’t hurt to spend the time to rewrite. Especially if it’s a story that you really believe in, I’d say to give it another shot…
Hi Liz Lobster,
Thanks for the encouragement and thanks for reading. I’m definitely going to give it another shot!
Warmly,
Diane
One of the reasons most of us amateur authors never make a submission, we allow ourselves to believe that we are good enough, without being told we aren’t.
Hi bulldogsturf,
I think you meant we allow ourselves to believe we aren’t good enough, yes? And I totally agree. But, as I often say, if you’re going to make stuff up, make up positive stuff! At this point, even if someone TOLD me I wasn’t good enough, I would know that it was about them, not me.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Warmly,
Diane
I applied to Stanford’s creative writing certificate program last year – narrowed down twenty pages of chapter outlines for my book to six sample pages of scenes, and combined them with a glowing recommendation letter from an editor I work with regularly. Received a form rejection similar to yours, but emailed the admissions committee back, asking if they could lend some insight as to why I didn’t make the cut (after all, it cost me $80 to apply and I wanted at least one or two comments outlining my weaknesses). I was shocked when they said there was nothing wrong with my writing, but had other people apply with more experience and publishing credits. They only had a minimal number of spots – 30, with nearly 3,000 applications – and offered encouraging words including advice to continue developing what they felt was a good storyline. I wasn’t one of the first rejected, they said. I felt better. I’d made an impression.
When I told my editor, she said “Name your ten most favorite books. Then do a little research to find out which of those authors have fancy degrees. I bet most don’t. And…ALL of them were rejected regularly.”
So every time I get a rejection letter, this is what I tell myself: I’m in good company.
It’s not personal. My time will come. I only have to perservere.
Laura… wonderful story!
Hey Laura!
Great story! Thanks for sharing it. You’re right, you’re in good company. I actually was kind of happy to have gotten a rejection letter. I feel more writerly now!
Good luck with your writing. It’s only a matter of time…
Warmly,
Diane
Very interesting thoughts on motivation, but I have a question. I liked this post, and I really enjoyed the positivity behind it, but I’m going to play devil’s advocate because I’m really interested in the first thing you said you would do if you stuck with thought #1.
If you really thought they enjoyed it and didn’t give any evidence that something was lacking or not quite right, why is that motivation to make changes and rewrite? If someone tells me they enjoy something, that’s a cue in my mind that it’s good, not that it requires being made better.
Let me use an analogy. Say you just cooked a huge delicious dinner, and you’re ready for dessert. You put dessert in front of your guests, everyone eats it except Suzie, and Suzie knows good food, she might even be a food critic. She takes one bite, and then leaves the rest. You say, “Suzie, what’s wrong, don’t you like the dessert?”
Suzie says, “Yes, I really enjoyed it, but I just don’t have room for any more food tonight.”
Now that she’s taken a bite and complimented your dessert, and if you really believe her, wouldn’t you just leave the recipe alone?
Hi Heather,
Thanks for your comments and thanks for playing devil’s advocate (something I enjoy doing, especially with my coaching clients!) In response, I will say that I was happy that the editors enjoyed my story–ANDI didn’t make it into the anthology–so I must be able to improve on my story! If they REALLY enjoyed it, or if they’d said it was their favorite or something, don’t you think I would have made it into the anthology? Anyway, that was my thinking. I’m lingering over the fact that they enjoyed it, but practicing my craft so that next time maybe they’ll enjoy it so much they put it in the anthology!
I guess if I look back at my story (which I haven’t done yet) and can’t come up with any changes that I think will improve on the story, I’ll leave it alone and try to submit it somewhere else.
And I agree with the food analogy: if someone told me they were too full to eat my food, I wouldn’t change a thing–except maybe serve smaller portions!
Warmly,
Diane
Haha! Great response. Btw this blog is such a great resource, I subscribe via RSS, and we have a link to it on our site
Rejection, as I’m sure you’ve all been told numerous times, is part of the game. So when I receive one — and I receive a lot — I consider it another badge earned. Would I be more proud of an acceptance? Definitely, and I’ve had a couple of those, too. But they come only after earning the rejections. I figure each “no” is one step closer to a “yes.”
And I also think it’s critical for sensitive writers (aren’t we all?) to remember that there are many factors at play — your writing may not be what makes the ultimate determination between a yes and a no (sadly). At least believing that allows me to continue plodding along, pushing forward.
Congratulations on taking another step ahead!
Hi Delancey Stewart,
Thanks for your comments and thanks for reading. I totally agree and I’m excited to be one step further down the road toward (eventual) publication!
Warmly,
Diane
Rejection is something we all go through, that letter was at least polite. The first time I sent something off I got a “letter” that was less than pleasant with the words “mediocre at best” somewhere in it. I have, however, kept writing and am taking a few more creative writing classes!
I’m all for continuing on despite rejections!
Wow, Emi, I don’t know what I would have done if I’d gotten a rejection like that! Good for you for not taking it personally and using it to motivate you to keep learning and keep writing.
Best wishes with your writing goals!
Warmly,
Diane
I really enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing your “rejection letter” and thoughts.
Hi Katy,
You are welcome! Thanks for reading!
Warmly,
Diane
I can’t wait to receive my first rejection letter, because it will mean I’ve actually finished something and sent it somewhere!
Hi beckysaysthings,
Yeah, that’s kind of how I felt. I have a good friend who got a rejection letter from one of the big NY publishing houses, and I said, “Wow, I can’t wait ’til I get rejected by Harper-Collins!”
Keep writing! You’ll get there!
Warmly,
Diane
Hello i am not a writer, i want to write my expirience since years now but i need a ghostwriter i thought, dont workover your stories for others only take of mistakes in your writing, as authenic you write the others believe, i am only a old business man from germany and in senior mangement. do nothing for others, only for you and s……on such coments you got. if they dont have space f……..they should stop doning something, how is this we dont have space, this is intenet the biggest space in universe.
Regards Reinhard
Hi Reinhard,
Thanks for your comments. I’m not at the stage yet where I think others comments might cause me to overwork my writing. I was thrilled to have the opinion of some professional editors. The only thing better would have been if they had made specific comments on the writing–how else can I learn?
I think if you want to write your experiences, go ahead and write them. Once you get as far as you can, then you can decide whether you need a ghostwriter or not.
Best of luck with your writing!
Warmly,
Diane
Diane, thanks for this timely post. I also just received a rejection letter (one of many over the years) for a poetry submission to a literary journal. Something I might add to this discussion is that generally these rejections do not come with any specific feedback. That is, rarely do editors say no and then go on to say what it was, specifically, about the submission that did not make the cut.
As a result, we’re left to wonder . . . assume . . . draw our own conclusions just as you’ve noted here. Unless or until there is clearer evidence to the contrary, your choice to assume the best and to act on that assumption makes good sense to me!
Hi Dan,
Thanks for your comments. I agree, it would have been wonderful to have some specific feedback, and I applaud Laura (commented above) for requesting feedback after getting rejected from a writing program.
When we are left to draw our own conclusions, I plan to continue to go with the kindest, most compassionate conclusion–and keep writing!
Good luck with your writing!
Warmly,
Diane
A concise, sound, positive example — well-stated. Thank you.
http://www.resultsazwell.com
Hi Results AZ Well Partners,
Thanks for your comment!
Warmly,
Diane
I think there’s a middle ground between staying positive and deluding yourself into believing that editors liked your material that they rejected with a form letter. Perhaps the tone wasn’t right for the journal. Perhaps they weren’t looking for that particular genre. Perhaps the reader just doesn’t mesh with your style. Personally, I’m incapable of lying to myself in the manner you suggest if I know something was a form letter. (“But it said they liked me, so they did!”) But there are constructive ways to deal with rejection that are also accurate. (I have a novel that was rejected by a number of agents, but which ultimately landed me more than one offer because different people have different opinions.)
I don’t know if you could call it lying to yourself – I think Diane’s point is all about putting yourself in a positive frame of mind in spite of rejection. There’s nothing wrong with liking yourself and your work even if you were told it was horrible! We’ve all written terrible stuff! It’s about allowing yourself to think something positive about the work and moving on, not about dismissing it as un-workable or as evidence you’re not a good writer.
Hi katherineernstwrites,
Thanks for your comments. I did not know it was a form letter rejection. I just assumed it was. If I’m going to assume (make up), then I’m going to go with the most likely (and least hurtful) conclusion. The editors said they enjoyed my story (I didn’t make that up)–so I believe them. I don’t see that as lying to myself. To me, that is more constructive than assuming they hated it and (possibly) giving up on the story.
Congratulations on receiving more than one offer on your novel! That must have been very exciting! What is the name of the book?
Warmly,
Diane
Diane, I appreciate this post so much! This always comes up. We talk and talk about it in my writing group and the room is typically split between between similar thoughts as yours. Which eventually leads us to the bigger question… whether or not it’s okay to ask for additional feedback, beyond the rejection letter. Some writers have received wonderful responses to this question, truly helpful for their rewrites.. while others received additional “form” responses that sent them back to the freezer for more ice cream.
I honor your bravery in posting this letter! Thanks SO much!
Excellent point to bring up! I did ask for additional feedback as indicated in my posted response, but only because it was a writing program as opposed to a literary publication. In that context, I felt it was appropriate to ask, but in another context, it could put you on the editors permanent rejection list. Most editors really don’t have time for that kind of feedback – not because they’re mean; they’re busy and there is no way they can possibly respond to every submission. They leave it up to a writer to have the correct mindset and take a hard look at what they’ve written to search for ways to revise the work.
Perhaps if it’s a smaller publication you might be able to do that….? Anybody??
Hi jenniegreenmiller,
Thanks for your comments and thanks for reading! I think it’s okay to ask for additional feedback, and I would if I felt strongly about it. At this point, I’m going to go back and look at my story and see what I think about now, after not looking at it for a few months, and then go from there.
Happy writing!
Warmly,
Diane
Hi Diane … I know just how you feel though as I took the self publishing route through CreateSpace .. the publishing arm of Amazon.com .. my problems were of another type. after my book was published I had to do my own marketing living outside the usa and it taught me so many skills along the way that I have become pretty good at many many things others take for granted. You could go the kindle route too. Its very easy.
Hi MasterMind secret of Law of Attraction,
Thanks for reading and thanks for your words of advice. I will definitely keep them in mind. That must have been very difficult, marketing when you lived outside the US. I think marketing is hard when I live right here in the middle of my potential clients/readers!
Warmly,
Diane
It wasn’t that hard really .. only time consuming .. for I did not spend money … only time. We are all the same wherever we live .. for if you are connected to God .. he is the same for all and what he sets in motion is unmatchable …. by any human endeavour. You see I planned for my book to sell by the millions by this month end and I partnered with God to help me make it come true. … I write this only to inspire…
Roda
I don’t always live by this but I read it often and try to absorb it:
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
Good thoughts can lead to good things
Hi Sheila,
I love this! I hadn’t seen it before. I agree, especially with “Good thoughts can lead to good things.”
Thanks for posting this!
Warmly,
Diane
Diane, It’s never a fun thing to get a rejection letter of any kind. When I began writing my book on breast cancer, I sent out some chapters with a cover letter and I got some rejections letters–I think Harper-Collins was among them. I was in a writing group with a newspaper editor and shared a chapter. His remark was “It’s pretty clean.” I now realize that was praise coming from him. He also printed another of my chapters in his newspaper. I think I will consider doing my book on CreateSpace. Being a twenty-year breast cancer survivor, should inspire someone, somewhere I think. And the gutsy stories of 29 other women should give them lots of different views. Thanks to Laura, who also submitted, I just submitted an article for an anthology. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for both of us. Just keep on keeping on!
I think a lot of people could benefit from your book, saranell! If you’re thinking about Create Space, I’d like to invite you to check out our platform. http://kbuuk.com. I’m not sure how far along you are in the writing process, but if you think it’s something that would be finished by Oct. we may be able to do something very special for breast cancer awareness month! Let me know if you’re interested.
I think I am of a different mindset, I would choose to believe point two, not because I am a pessimist. Because I think deep down I am a fighter, and I would be motivated to prove them wrong!! Lovely blog. I hope next time you get the letter you want
Hi Sacha,
Thanks for your comments. Believing the second just made me feel bad, so I chose #1, but we are all so different–you need to go with whatever motivates you. Thanks for your good wishes.
Happy writing!
Warmly,
Diane
Hi there … on my blog I have information of my friend that started her own Publishing company. Don’t give up … try her out!
http://craftyfunnyyummy.wordpress.com/2012/06/20/pain-pain-go-away-book-on-amazon/
Hi craftyfunnyyummy,
Thanks for the tip! And thanks for reading.
Warmly,
Diane
Hi Diane- My name is Becky and I am a recurrent reject….kinda sounds like an AA moment, don’t you think? Seriously, it propels me forward. Good for you staying positive.
Hi Becky,
Yes, it does sound like an AA moment! One of the reasons I shared my rejection letter is that I knew there were others out there receiving rejection letters, too. It made my rejection seem more normal. Also, if others can keep on putting their stuff out there (like you, brave lady!), then so can I!
Keep up the good work!
Warmly,
Diane
Rejection’s part of writing life – I’ve been writing (and published) professionally for 30 years and get them. Happens to every writer. it’s never the nicest, but that letter you got is phrased fairly positively. And you got an answer. Here in New Zealand, these days, my queries to papers and magazines (including ones I’ve written for over many years) simply vanish into a vacuum – unless the editor actually wants the piece. A sharp change from a few years ago and a reflection of the economic realities of the business these days, I suspect (understaffed, underpaid and overworked) – but not particularly courteous.
Good luck finding a home for the story.
Hi Matthew,
Yes, not getting any response at all would have been worse, I think. Good for you for continuing to get your work out there, despite all the difficulties.
Thanks for your comments and thanks for reading!
Warmly,
Diane
I wonder if a rewrite might not be a hasty decision. Form letter or not, there’s no feedback on the story’s merits. I’d send the story back out today. It might not be right for that anthology, but it might be perfect, as is, for something else. If it gets rejected a few more times, consider a revision.
Hi dandyrob,
You’re right! Maybe my story would be perfect for another publication. That truly never occurred to me until I read your comment. Thanks for that! I haven’t gone back to the story yet, but I will. If it still looks finished to me, I’ll try another publication.
Thanks so much for your comment!
Warmly,
Diane
A couple of years ago I dared to try sending out something. It came back with a rejection and no nice words. It killed me. I let it! This year I lost my job because I’ve been ill and that beat me down too…then one day one of those many voices that force me to write, even in the face of believing I would never be published, won out. I began to study HOW to get published. I’ve learned a lot. My dream is to publish in the field of YA fiction. The work I’ve written in the past is in for edit. While that takes place I am writing short stories for magazines and guess what? I have posted 3 of them plus some poems. My hopes are they LOVE them and they publish them! This time I am prepared though, if they reject them then I will re-work them and keep trying. I’ll let you know what I really feel as soon as I know though! Best of luck to all of us that never give up!
1nanasdream,
Wow, good for you! What a great story. Thank you for sharing it with us. Keep writing and learning and let me know when your YA novel gets published. It’s only a matter of time…
Warmly,
Diane
i got lots of rejection letters when i was submitting my first novel to publishers fifteen years ago. i kept submitting it until i ran out of publishers to try. i got a couple of encouraging comments, ‘well-written’ and ‘worth pursuing’ but nobody wanted to publish it.
a couple of years ago a friend mentioned a new publisher to me. i submitted my novel and it has been accepted for publication. i’m so glad i tried again.
Congrats lyndaanning! Thanks for sharing that – it’s a good example of the “timing is everything” approach.
I love this whole post – everybody has brought up some excellent points and made me really things about rejection from several different angles!
Hi lyndaanning,
Another inspiring story! Thank you so much for posting this. I know I’m encouraged, and I’m sure other readers will be, too.
Happy writing!
Warmly,
Diane