The Everywhen

We’re a week into National Novel Writing Month (NaNo), and I’m way behind. I have written in my calendar on November 10^th: “16,667 words” because that’s a third of the way through the month and a third of the word count required to “win” Nano. It’s now November 7^th and I’ve only written 5000 words.

But you know what? I’m not worried.

I’m a little freaked out that I’m not freaked out.

The last time I did NaNo, I worried about it every day—even the days I had blocked out as non-writing days.

This time, I have this weird feeling that I’ve already won. I don’t mean I’m delusional, I just know that I’m going to win NaNo. It’s a done deal. By November 30^th, I’ll have 50,000 words written.

With that knowledge, I’ve taken time to write when I would normally be doing other things, but I’ve also made the decision not to write (for NaNo) at certain times. Like now.

Knowing I’m going to win NaNo has not made me “lazy” about it, I just don’t have the anxiety that I’ve had in the past over completing almost any task or goal.

This is a shift that I’ve noticed in my entire life, not just in my writing life.

For example, right now, my husband and I are actively trying to get out of debt. When I saw that a Vitamix blender I’d love to have cost hundreds of dollars, I realized it wasn’t in my current budget. But I didn’t feel deprived because I know I’ll have it one day. It feels like I already do. It’s just in a closet in my future, waiting for me to go get it.

One of my greatest teachers, Martha Beck, talks about “the everywhen.” That’s how many ancient cultures think of time, rather than time as a linear construct. Albert Einstein has said: “The distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”

I know I’ve taken us off to the land of woo-woo here, but I find this whole concept very helpful. If my NaNo novel is a part of the “everywhen,” any steps I take in the present moment can’t help but lead me to my (future) win. Therefore, I can take steps from a place of peace and joy, rather than anxiety and tension—which is how I felt in 2008 when I was afraid, all November long, that I wasn’t going to finish my 50,000 words.

This time around, I’m working from a place of peace and confidence, and keeping the tension and anxiety on the page, where it belongs.

It’s like I’ve answered the question: “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” I’d win NaNo, that’s what!

If you knew your writing goal was already achieved in your “everywhen,” how differently might you approach your current project?

Diane MacKinnon, MD, is a writer, a life coach, a mother, and a physician. She is currently working on her second Nano novel and hoping to connect with other NH wrimo’s at a write-in on November 24th at Rodger’s Memorial Library in Hudson, NH. For more information about the write-in, please click here.