Saturday Edition – What’s Holding You Back from Your Writer’s Life?

Don't be scared of paper tigers.

Don’t be scared of paper tigers.

I’m in need of a writer-to-writer pep talk today, so I’ve decided to give myself one.

This isn’t going to be easy. I’m realizing, to my chagrin, that being optimistic and upbeat comes much more naturally when things are going well. Who’d have thought? Maintaining a good attitude is a bit more challenging when you’re stuck at the bottom of the proverbial well with no rope and no ladder (and a creeping suspicion that something malicious may be lurking down there with you, just waiting to jump out from the shadows and give you a nasty bite, or worse).

Why I’m down here in the metaphorical muck is mostly immaterial, so I won’t bore you with the details. Let’s just say that the struggle has been a little tougher than usual and I’m starting to feel like someone may be out to get me. In a recent conversation with a friend, my inner Pollyanna valiantly tried to put a positive spin on my current situation by pointing out that this must be what people mean when they say that tough times build character. My smart and talented friend, who has seen her fair share of difficulty over the past six months, commented wryly that she could do with a little less character, thank you very much. Indeed.

While part of me would like to wallow and lose myself in a binge-session watching Orphan Black, I know that neither of those options will help me in the long run. This is the point in the story where the heroine is supposed to pick herself up, dust herself off, and head back into battle with renewed conviction and purpose. This is where the plot twist becomes a key turning point in the trajectory of the narrative. This is where the rubber meets the road.

So, instead of wallowing, I’m going to engage in a little tough love. I’m going to give myself a compassionate but firm kick in the arse. If you’re feeling a little stuck or disheartened, I invite you to join me as a recipient of said tough love. There’s plenty to go around.

··• )o( •··

Ok, you, I’m here to ask you what’s holding you back. I get that you’re scared and unsure. I understand that things are a little tough right now and you may even be questioning your right to continue pursuing your writing. I feel your pain and I empathize, really, I do. But – you knew there was a “but” coming – if you really want to do this thing, you’ve got to push past the fear and the uncertainty. You’ve got to blow up the obstacles standing in your way. It’s time.

The thing is, you’ve only got one life to live and – I hate to be the one to tell you, but – the clock is ticking on it, honey. So, how about if we dry those tears and take a good hard look at all the “Real” Reasons why you aren’t doing the writing you want to do.

I’m afraid.

We’re all afraid. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. Even the people you admire most are afraid, but they did what scared them despite the fear. Writers, as a group, fear plenty of things. We fear failure and ridicule. We fear being thought of as silly, naive, and self-indulgent. We fear being put in our place by Other People who know more. We fear that sharing our work will leave us vulnerable and exposed. We fear offending people we care about. We fear being rejected, panned, and – worst of all – ignored. Heck, we even fear success.

And the worst part is, our fears are justified. If writing was easy, everyone would do it. Writing, if you share your work with others, is like going to work naked. Subjecting ourselves to the possibility of publicly falling on our faces or revealing more of ourselves than we planned is just part of the package.

I cannot take your fear away. I cannot tell you that the things you fear aren’t real or that you are overreacting. There is no magical badge of courage that will make you invincible against the things that give you nightmares. All you can do is, as they say, feel the fear and do it anyway. Just don’t let the fear hold you back. Don’t talk yourself into thinking that your fears are proof that you shouldn’t be writing. That’s your inner critic talking, and she’s a manipulative little twerp. Tell her your fear isn’t proof that you’re unworthy, but rather proof that you’re human. It’s human nature to fear the unknown, and damn but there’s a lot of unknowns when it comes to writing.

So, put on your big girl panties and put your fears in their place – away in the corner where you don’t have to listen to them whine. You’ve got better things to do.

I don’t have enough time.

You’ve got better things to do, and only so many hours in the day. I admit that finding time to write is hard. In fact, “finding” time is nearly impossible unless you’ve got a fairy godmother who can wave a magic wand and make extra time appear in your day. This is why we need to make time to write, not hope to find a few extra hours lying around somewhere.

Because the truth is, you do have the time. You’re just not using it wisely.

The bad news is that you’ll only ever have twenty-four hours to spend each day. The good news is that you get to decide how to spend them. What  you aren’t going to want to hear is that making time for writing means giving up other things. I know. It sucks. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too. You have to make hard choices. You have to sacrifice. You have to put your money where your mouth is, so to speak.

What this means in your world is different from what it means in mine, but in addition to the obvious things (a little less Netflix time, a little more hands-on-keyboard time or maybe going to bed earlier so you can get up earlier, etc.), you also have to consider making “selfish” choices that might cut into time with family and friends. You might have to navigate the emotional minefield of explaining to someone you care about that, as much as you love them, you need time alone to work on your writing. They may not understand at first. There may be hurt feelings. But, that’s part of the Hard Work you have to do.

And – P.S.– you can’t just make time, you have to create space, too – not physical space, but head space. You have to give yourself permission to “indulge” in your writing even though it might seem like a frivolous pursuit. You have to learn to validate the time and effort you spend writing even though it may not earn you a single dollar. This is harder than it sounds, but it’s part of what you need to do.

Ok, got it? What’s next?

I need to make money.

You and me both, honey. You and me both. One of my favorite excuses to drag out when someone asks why I don’t spend more time on my fiction is that I have to make money. I justify myself by explaining that fiction doesn’t generate immediate income, and I can’t pay my mortgage with dreams and best intentions. I’m not wrong, but I’m also not right.

Here’s the thing. Basing decisions on money is a terrible, terrible way to live your life. I get that you’ve got bills to pay, maybe even mouths to feed. You’ve got responsibilities and obligations. You’ve got a standard of living to which you’ve become accustomed. Me, too. But that shouldn’t keep you from writing.

You’ve heard the story about a certain author named J.K. Rowling – broke, single mom who worked on what would eventually become the largest fiction franchise in history while she was so down on her luck that she would sometimes have to skip meals so her daughter could eat. And yet, despite being that destitute, she kept writing.

Imagine if Rowling had based her decision to write on whether or not it would make her money in the short term.

You don’t need money to write. All you need is time and passion and maybe a pencil.

But, just as important, you don’t need to make money from your writing in order to validate writing in the first place. Don’t saddle your muse with the burden of generating revenue. Talk about a way to suck the joy out of something! Go ahead and nurture your dreams of becoming a successful (and well paid) author (if that’s your ultimate goal), but don’t let the weight of that expectation drag your writing practice to a screeching halt.

You’re right. You do need to make money, but you don’t need to make that money writing. Do what you do to earn your living and let your writing evolve separately from that. Many famous authors held down other, non-writing jobs throughout their careers. That’s a perfectly acceptable way to do things. It allows you time to explore and experiment, to play. Moonlight, if you like. Test the waters. Dabble. But don’t set yourself up for disappointment and failure by applying unrealistic earning expectations on your writing. That’s just mean.

I’m no good.

No one is good in the beginning, and the only way to get better is to study and practice. And, guess what? You are lucky enough to live in the age of the Internet, which means that you have almost unlimited access to a vast and ever-expanding wealth of knowledge. Seriously. Anything you want to learn, you can learn about it online. There are books, blogs, online magazines, podcasts, YouTube, classes, courses, forums, and endless other digital resources from which you can learn just about anything you need to know about writing. From story structure to grammar, finding your voice to finessing your theme, characterization, plotting, pacing, and on and on and on.

If you think you’re no good, get better. Stop fretting about being less than and figure out how to be more. Read, and then read some more. Visit the library and take out as many books as you can carry. Read about writing and read stories and novels from every genre, era, and age group. Analyze the shit out of everything – why does this work so well and why does that fail?

Be passionate about your craft. Don’t settle for subpar or even good enough. Take stories apart to see what makes them tick. Listen to your instinct and follow that up with research about what the pros have to say. Dig deeper. Ask harder questions – of yourself and the hundreds of bloggers out there who write about writing. Share your work. Ask for feedback. Get involved with a writers’ group. Take a class. Audit a class. Do whatever it takes to get better.

Do you think the writers you admire sat around saying they weren’t good enough? No. They studied and practiced until they had something that wasn’t just “good enough,” it was spectacular. You can do that, too. Start today.

I don’t even know what I want to write.

I know this one makes you a little extra crazy. You have a desire to write, but you can’t quite seem to focus that desire into an actual project. You have vague ideas and notes. You have half-formed plots and random characters taking up headspace. I get it. Happens to me, too. Sometimes, the trouble is less about having unclear ideas and more about having so many fabulous ideas that you can’t pick which one to pursue.

Either way, indecision = paralysis. Plain and simple. (And, not good.)

The cure is just to pick something. Anything. As Jessica Abel says, “Pay attention to your attention.” And, as I’ve said before, follow your curiosity. Look at what you read and watch. What kind of stories are you drawn to? What kinds of themes? What’s important to you in Real Life? Think about how you spend your free time and how that might be related to a certain kind of writing project, topic, or theme.

Don’t spend too much time on this part of the process. Just take an informal survey of your interests and pastimes so that you can hone in on some story element that captures your imagination. Then, start writing. Know that this isn’t the only thing you’ll ever write. You can get back to your Other Ideas later. Try to stay focused on one thing at a time. Give your attention fully to the story at hand. Listen to what it’s telling you, and then you’ll know what to write.

I never follow through, so I must not be a “real” writer, anyway.

You’re right. Real Writers follow through. They do the work. So, what would you have to accomplish to feel like you’re following through, and what would it take for you to achieve that goal?  Stop saying, “I never do anything.” Figure out what you need to do and do it. Break it down. Give yourself a support network. It might be as simple as asking someone to be your writing buddy or joining a writing group for accountability. It might be entering a contest or taking on an assignment with a deadline. Don’t tell me you can’t follow through. You can.

I beat myself up for not doing the work all the time. Just a few months ago, I wrote about how New Year’s left me reflecting on my failure (again) to accomplish writing goals I’ve had for twenty, maybe even thirty years. But, even though I feel like I’ve let myself down, I never let it keep me from writing. In fact, although I haven’t accomplished those particular goals (publishing fiction and building a business around my love of writing/reading/story/creativity), I’ve followed through on a lot of other writing goals. And slowly but surely, the writing I have done is starting to converge with the writing I’ve always wanted to do. Do I still need a kick in the arse? Most definitely. But, I also deserve a little pat on the back – for never, ever giving up and for always, always continuing to write, even when it’s hard, even when I’m not sure why I’m doing it or where I’m going with it.

Take today. Part of me didn’t feel up to writing it because I wasn’t in the best mood and wasn’t feeling up to doing the work. Part of me wondered if I should forget about it since I knew it was going to go live several hours later than I usually post. Part of me thought about scrapping my idea for this post and instead writing something shorter and “fluffier.” But in the end I decided to just buckle down and do it. I decided to put my fear in the corner, make the time, shut down my inner critic, get clear about what I wanted (needed) to say, and just follow through.

And you can, too. Believe me. If I can do it, so can you.

Jamie Lee Wallace Hi. I’m Jamie. I am a content writer and branding consultant, columnist, sometime feature writer, prolific blogger, and aspiring fiction writer. I’m a mom, a student of equestrian arts, a nature lover, and an eclectic reader. I believe in small kindnesses, daily chocolate, and happy endings. Introduce yourself on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Pinterest. I don’t bite … usually.

68 thoughts on “Saturday Edition – What’s Holding You Back from Your Writer’s Life?

  1. All of us have felt this at some stage! I’ve just started work on my longest fiction project yet and I’m falling into all of the traps you’ve mentioned here. Thank you for sharing this pep talk. Now, back to writing… 🙂

    • Hello, Julia! 🙂
      Congrats on starting a new project – and your longest one yet, too! That’s awesome AND daunting, but the last words of your comment say it all – “back to writing…” That’s the thing, isn’t it? No matter what – just back to writing.

      Thanks for sharing some of your precious time with me here. Hope it feels well spent.
      Keep writing & good luck!

  2. Jamie, your posts are always wonderful, but this one really articulated all of my own reasons for doubt. Thank you so much for making me feel like I’m not alone in this writing thing, and the pep talk to keep going!

    • Hello, Tina! 🙂

      Thanks so much. You’re always so kind.
      These struggles are ubiquitous and unceasing. We may tame them for a while, but they usually try to sneak back in under a new guise. For me, the best medicine is laying them bare with my own words and then sharing that with others, because then – like you – I get to find out that I’m not alone, and that always makes me feel like I can carry on.

      Happy writing!

  3. Pingback: Live to Write – Write to Live Post – What’s Holding You Back from Your Writer’s Life? | Dominika Lein

    • Thanks, Marjorie. Me, too! 😉
      I love it when giving myself a good talking to can help others as well as me.
      Happy writing!

  4. Pingback: What a great kick in the pants! Thanks @suddenlyjamie Saturday Edition – What’s Holding You Back from Your Writer’s Life? — Live to Write – Write to Live – Mugglestones and Mayhem

  5. Thanks, I’ve been downhearted today, since my computer decided to gobble up an entire rewrite that I had nearly completed for a competition. Of course I should have been ‘saving’ as I went along, hindsight is such know it all!
    I had felt like giving up, you have given me the shake up that I needed!
    Great post!

    • Oh, Rosie! So sorry to hear about your computer crash and the loss of your rewrite. I can understand why you’d be downhearted after that, and I’m so glad this post helped you shake loose from that feeling so you can get back to writing. That’s awesome! 🙂

      I hope your “rewrite of the rewrite” goes super smoothly.
      Keep on keeping on. Sending vibes to make your technology behave!

  6. Thank you. I needed this today. I was in Barnes & Noble today. Some of the best writers in my genre are not even on the shelves. Sad and scary. That can’t stop me. Mantra: the only thing that can stop me, is me. Time to get back to work.

    • Publishing and book stores offer a changing landscape these days. Thank goodness writers have more than one way to get their work to readers these days. It may take a little extra creativity and elbow grease, but there are ways.

      Love your mantra. Keep on working!

    • I have good days and bad days. I’m putting this self-talk post into my back pocket for the bad days. 😉
      Never happy to hear other writers are struggling, but it’s also good to know none of us are alone in the struggle.

      Keep at it! 🙂

    • Hello, Maria. Thanks for coming by. I’m very glad you enjoyed the piece.
      Looks like you’re new to blogging? Welcome! And writing from the Netherlands? I have never been, but when I was in third or fourth grade I wrote a report on the country. I used my encyclopedias and everything.

  7. Dearest Jamie

    You know I ALWAYS love you and your words.

    But reading THIS POST has been one of the most transformative experiences for me. It’s actually GOOD to admit that you too have fears, question your path, and need an ah-mazing pep talk. (It makes ME feel less alone – if someone as qualified and talented and successful as you can also be plagued by negativity, then maybe I am not queer, or crazy, or a loser….your honesty has bolstered MY SPIRIt and COURAGE!)

    You took to writing to confront your writing challenges….treat yourself to a massage, a cupcake, and a long movie for that! #HUGSS

    I didn’t think about using writing to break my writing block…I was happy stewing about someone else’s success and moping about my lack of success.

    You are my hero(ine), my role model, and my FAVORITE FAVORITE blogger

    LOVE YOU, darling


    • Hello, Kitto! 🙂
      Thanks so much. It always brightens my day to see you here.
      I’m a big fan of writing my way out of a writing slump. It’s not easy to get started, but even if I just start with “I can’t write anything. This is hard. I’ll never get this figured out.” … I eventually work my way around to a place where things start to click.

      I hear you re: “stewing about someone else’s success,” too. That’s a tough one. My version of that has mostly to do with stewing about things I feel I should have done/should be doing, so it’s less about competing with someone else than it is about competing with a better version of myself. Still frustrating, though, and a bit of a bummer. Again – best way to bump myself out of that mind set is to take action. DO something!

      As always, thanks for your heartfelt comments. Keep writing. You’re not crazy or a loser. At all.

      • Oh – I am extremely dissatisfied with myself 😛 (live in a world of ‘woulda’ ‘shoulda’ ‘coulda’), but I have always grappled with jealousy 😦

        I am slowly – very slowly – learning that someone else’s success in no way diminishes me…lol….


  8. Jamie!! I LOVE YOU! GO GIRL! I feel the same way about SO MUCH of the things you write about! FIRST article I’ve read by you and I AM HOOKED! KEEP IT UP GIRL! I needed a kick in the arse to day too! THANK YOU for the inspiration! Please support my blog and my You Tube show! I’m here for you girl! “If I can do it, so can you”! That’s MY WHOLE PURPOSE statement! Prayers and hugs lady!!

    • Morning! Love your enthusiasm. 🙂
      Thanks for the kind words and the additional cheering. It’s important that we all support each other in whatever way we can.

      Glad this particular kick in the arse worked for you. Enjoy & happy writing!

  9. Thanks Jamie, I’m more of a blogger, but I write from my heart and part of me wants to spill the words out, and then the other part doesn’t really want to share. But its good therapy.

    • Hello, Robynne.
      Blogging is writing. 🙂 Often, it can be quite powerful – like when you write from the heart.
      The best part is that usually when you write something that helps you, it also helps someone else who reads it. It’s a win-win!

      Thanks for being here.

  10. Wow! That just blow my mind. I was able to connect with those fears you described, because I feel the same way. How inspiring is discover that many other writers share those doubts, fears, and silly excuses, but despite of all of that we keep going. I think that when you say or write something, that something becomes real. And if something is real you have to deal with it. That is the first step to improve yourself. Thank you, your thoughts helped me a lot. Hope you achieve everything you want!
    Best regards,


    PS. Sorry if I have some grammar mistakes, I’m still learning 🙂

    • Hello, Sol. Thanks for being here. 🙂

      I agree – writing your troubles down is a great way to start dealing with them. Articulating your challenge in words gives it a shape, a form, that you can grasp and manipulate. It gives you the ability to better understand exactly what you’re up against, AND (more importantly) what it will take to overcome it.

      So glad to hear you found this post helpful.
      And no worries about the grammar mistakes – it’s all about practice and study, study and practice.
      Keep writing!

  11. The course of any true love never runs smooth and we can’t expect anything different from a love of writing. Not bolting for the front door every time the relationship isn’t going our way is part of process. Besides we secretly know how cold the world is on the other side of that door, and that we’ll only spend our time thinking of the love we left behind. Writing isn’t a rom/com it’s what happens after the protagonists have come together.

    • Great metaphor. I love the idea of “real” writing being what happens after the credits roll. The day to day of the writer’s life is not the perfect happy ending, but the daily practice of working through our relationship with our craft and our stories. It’s an ongoing process that takes commitment and persistence as much (maybe more!) than passion. 😉

      Thanks – great way to put it.

  12. That was a very insightful and amazing post. You really spoke to me on a level that I haven’t even been able to reach for a long time. Thank you for giving me a little kick in the arse to realize that I am the only one stopping myself from writing and that I need to simply get over it and write. Words can’t convey how impactful this has been, thank you!! 🙂

    • Oh, goodness! You’re certainly not the only one holding yourself back from writing. So many of us fall into the trap and have to work hard to get back on our feet and in the writing groove. It’s a battle that’s never over, but one that’s always worth fighting.

      Carry on! Thanks for being here. 🙂

  13. Now this is the kind of motivation and help I was looking for! It’s been a month that I quit my job as a Social Media Manager to focus on my writing. While I am trying to write more often, I still do not have a POA and this bothers me. I even wonder sometime if I am good enough to even consider the ambition. It feels good to know others too struggle with such obstacles and how we can all work together to grow as writers. Thanks!

    • Hello, Jinal.
      POA – Plan of Action, right? It’s good to have a plan, but first you need to find your general direction … figure out what it is you want to do – what kind of project, what sort of topic, the theme, etc? I really love Jessica Abel’s (of Out on the Wire) advice to “pay attention to your attention” – meaning be aware of the things that interest you most. It’s a variation on the idea of following your curiosity rather than your “passion.”
      Once you start to become aware of where your attention and curiosity are leading you, then you can start to formulate your POA. 🙂 You’ll have a general idea of where you want to go, and you can start to plan the actual route you’ll take to get there.

      If you have time and are willing to share, I’d love to hear more about how you’re proceeding with your writing now. I’d be happy to share any resources that might be helpful as you sort out how to move forward.

      • Hey Jamie!

        Thank you so much for this! I would love to have your inputs and any guidance you can offer in my endeavours 🙂
        Currently, I am trying to write every alternate day, in an attempt to build a habit. I have been so out of touch with blogging and reading, need to get back to basics! Usually, prompts help.
        What I have realised is, I love writing fiction. I have been told I have a knack for it (Don’t know how true this is!) and I am trying to improve.
        For starters, I think, this is my goal: to hone my fiction writing skills.
        I would love for you to take a look at my blog and give your feedback!
        Once again, thanks!

  14. Whatever you own struggles, you do a fantastic job of rationalizing while keeping the emotional issues present. You explain and create flashes of awareness for all your writer/would-be-writers/readers. Your posts are always spot-on. Having to earn a living, needing to create space and not knowing what to choose to focus on all sound so familiar. Glad you buckled down today, thanks for sharing a a reader-friendly little butt-kick…hope it worked for you too 🙂

    • It did work for me, Bea. Thanks for asking! 🙂
      As Krangara commented above, sometimes the only way to bust up a funk about a thing, is to do the thing that’s causing the funk. I find this especially applicable to writing, and this case was no different. IT took me a while to find my groove, but by the time I finished I was feeling much better.

      Thank you for being here. Always nice to see you!

  15. Pingback: Saturday Edition – What’s Holding You Back from Your Writer’s Life? — Live to Write – Write to Live | lisaremickwriter

  16. Thank you so so much for this Jamie. I can’t tell you enough how you perfectly described all my fears and summed it up in one post. I needed this pep talk and now I’m so motivated to hop back on to what makes me truly happy. This helped a lot, more than you know. Good luck with your writing. I look forward to reading more from you.



    • My pleasure, Kelly. Truly. To know that I can give others a little boost is such a great feeling. It makes me feel less alone in my battles, too!

      Thanks for being here and letting me know the pep talk did some good. Love to hear that. 🙂

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  19. hi Suddenly ,,,thanks for confessing a most common aspect of writers ‘ life – the many fears of paper tigers and these digital days much more building blocks of erecting Tigers are much less concrete but much more Powerful. WHat s your take? Do you think any writer or journalist that has a philosophical or humane conscience writes or muse frankly all s(he) considered truly ethical on issues that are wagging tails of self destruction here or there in the malls or legislative councils or in the deep sea scuba diving? gCan this century produce or birth or clone writers -holistic writers that can truly capture a drop out of the oceanic beauty and ugly matter that need to be stabilized online or prepare or process them for print encyclopedia for 21st c or a giant kindle almost triple the sonnet poem project in the USA ,,,,,Just pray that it’s radiation or otherwise it’s handiness can be less lethal & this is not impossible by the therapy of the new fear physicians, Thanks for this prompting I was actually dragged to is portal by a a anthology of writers bookshelf and fear New Poetry Digest & News e-mastered by James Finnegan after three years of absences online might be cleaned from Internet archives despite its robust reflective& teachable features for a decade!

    Again do you love or like the writers disease ?why throw this to others ? You aren’t just blessed you re also pressed as much as I just cried out for writers without I. due to poverty of philosophy of their governors and their own unsung ridiculous poverty of grid power.Too bad -‘ time is ample in my hand’ as my people idiomatically will say when they re time pressed. actually I m stealing a Rotary Club s meeting far away from here now! Suddenly Jamie – you re a like mind at least in this matter- writers bliss & blight Keep writing however.

    Gbemi Aka Gbemi Tijani MST

    Sent from my iPad

    • Thank you for sharing your impassioned thoughts. I do not have answers that tell the future; all I can do is keep my eyes on my own paper, so to speak … stay focused on my own words and stories, and hope that they will help me keep expanding my experience and awareness.

      I appreciate your time & am glad to have you here.

  20. I myself have been stuck in a rut. Moping about not writing, or reading, not accomplishing any of my goals, and doing nothing to change that except binge-watch shows on Netflix, all while wishing I had more time in the day.

    As writers, we often tell ourselves that our problems are exclusive. No one else is going through this because there’s no one else in the room with us. It’s just us. It’s good to be reminded that there’s an entire community of people going through the same problems. That at some point we will all inevitably end up in the same rut. There’s something about that that I find comforting. It makes me feel less alone.

    I really needed this. Thank you.

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