Reposting: A Brief Guide to Narrative Navigation

            In British English, punctuation at the end of a sentence is called a “full stop,” – just like the red, octagonal, road sign at an intersection. Indeed, basic punctuation is a great deal like road signs, instructing the reader when to slow down, yield, and stop. In this way, punctuation is a great tool – a way for a writer to lead her reader through a labyrinth of ideas without either of them getting lost. Here’s an abbreviated driver’s manual summarizing the punctuation/signage that will help you and your readers through a safe narrative journey.

The Comma. This little subscript mark is possibly the second most misused punctuation mark – after the apostrophe. It indicates a brief pause, like the letting up on the accelerator as you approach a cross walk where there might be pedestrians crossing, or a yield sign, indicating an important clause is about to enter the sentence.

The comma is also used before a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, nor, for, so, and yet) linking two independent clauses – just the way a driver hesitates when crossing a four-way intersection on a country road, where stop signs aren’t posted.

A comma follows an introductory clause or phrase, just as a driver can let up on the accelerator after zooming up the entrance ramp of a limited-access highway and achieving highway speed. And commas set off little elements, like non-restrictive clauses, parenthetical remarks, dates, and the like. These commas help a reader negotiate stop-and-go traffic, and can be as trying as a traffic jam when overused.

Overusing commas is similar to when a driver pumps the gas, creating a staccato motion that causes car-sickness and is not reader-friendly. Similarly, when commas are too infrequently used a reader could become anxious with breathlessness the way a driver who never pauses to read street signs can end up hopelessly lost.

The Semi-colon. If it’s possible to have a favorite punctuation mark, this would be mine. The semi-colon is all about linking equal parts. When a semi-colon joins two independent clauses without a coordinating conjunction, it’s a sign to the reader that the ideas are equal; she must supply the mental connection of ideas just as drivers at a four-way stop sign must agree on an order for taking turns across the intersection. The semi-colon indicates the need for cooperation, and I like that.

The semi-colon is also used to separate coordinate elements that contain commas, like a long, complicated, list of items. This use of semi-colons resembles those giant, overhead, signs on the interstate that separate drivers into different lanes according to their destinations.

The Colon: This mark instructs a reader to pay attention, something important is coming up, just like the orange signs on the highway alerting a driver of upcoming hazards, like construction, a change of pavement or a bump. It says, “Heads up!”

The Period. Full stop. Ignore this mark at your peril! It is the stoplight that must be obeyed at all costs. Without it, intersections of ideas would be chaotic pile-ups. Even a single idea without a period at the end is as dangerous as a road that goes off a cliff. A period provides closure, and every reader wants to be told when to stop.

Learning to stop can be difficult, but with the price of gas going up in direct opposition to readers’ time, it’s a critical skill. So even though there are more signs worth knowing how to use, like the apostrophe, the dash, parentheses, quotation marks, exclamation point, question mark and the interrobang, these marks are beyond the purview of this post.

Happy Motoring!

Deborah Lee Luskin

This piece originally posted August 21, 2012. I’ve scheduled reruns while I’m on summer vacation, and hope this ones reminds everyone to drive safely during the summer holidays. Look for replies to your comments in mid-July.

When I’m not traveling, I live a rooted and rural life in Vermont which I chronicle on my blog, Living in Place.

Please my website to learn more about my mission to tell stories to create change. Thanks for reading!

The Power of Verbs

Verbs are the engines that power your sentences.

Here’s an exercise that will help you learn the power of verbs.

See if you can make the following paragraph more interesting by changing the verbs. Challenge yourself to show this narrator either speeding through her day or dragging through it by the verbs you choose. If you like, post your revision in the comments below.

I got up this morning: I got dressed I got coffee and a bagel when I got gas. I got the news on the radio, and I got the mail on the way down the hall to the office. I got through my email before my ten o’clock meeting, but I got a phone call from a client so I got to the meeting late.

After the meeting I got through the HR about my health benefits, because I got a bill for my last doctor’s visit that didn’t get covered by my insurance and should have. I got a liverwurst sandwich at the deli across the street and I got red licorice at the candy store next door. I got a lot done between one and three because I got smart and turned my email and phone off. But my boss got mad because she couldn’t get through. When I told her all I got done, she got thoughtful. I got to go out to the bakery with her and got a coffee and an éclair and got a chance to tell her about all the ways I get interrupted at work and all the ways we could get more done. She got it and thanked me. I got back to my desk and got some more done before I got back in my car. Even with traffic, I got to my yoga class in time and got home feeling like I’d had a good day.

Give it a try – then show off your work and any comments about what you learned.

Always wishing you the exact word to express precisely what it is you want to say, ~Deborah.

Before You Hit Send with Angela James

Angela James presented her workshop Before You Hit Send in New Hampshire last month. James is an engaging and lively presenter, even when she’s talking about something as dry as the direct address comma. Her presentation style is conversational and witty, and never condescending. This is good for someone like me who has strong storytelling skills, but is weak with grammar. Don’t get me wrong, I still need an editor, but I’d prefer to eliminate as many of the potential errors in advance to make the process as expedient and efficient as possible. Angela delivered real world strategies that made me feel like I will deliver a more polished manuscript.

Author Claire Brett Introduces Carina Press Executive Editor, Angela James

Before You Hit Send is offered online as a multi-week course; the day-long workshop is a pared-down version of that course and it is still bursting at the seams with information. We had handouts with the PowerPoint slides and I still took close to 40 pages of notes. I can summarize the headlines here, but the value in this workshop comes from the examples Angela offers to demonstrate her points.

My personal highlights

Use descriptive words, but be careful of overwriting. A little subtlety can add polish to a story. She provided multiple powerful examples here.

Read your story out loud or use voice to text to read it to you. This will allow you to hear things you might otherwise miss.

• Where your dialogue sounds unnatural.
• Is the story boring?
• Did you leave out a key piece of description (e.g., your character moving to another room).
• Notice where your attention drifts from the story.

DO NOT edit as you listen – take notes or add comments to a Word or Kindle document.

Don’t overlook the basics such as formatting and spellcheck (even if Word does check your spelling as you type). She also offered tips on how to use MS Word’s Find and Replace function like a boss. I learned how to make paragraph marks appear in MS Office 365! This will mean nothing to 90% of the readers, but it was huge to me.

“Punctuation is there as support, not to carry the load.” Pare down your exclamation points. If you need to show excitement or extreme emotion of any kind, use words, not !!!!

Eliminate garbage words from your expository writing, but remember the rules are a little more lenient for dialogue.

Garbage words:

• Really
• So
• That
• Well
• Very
• Totally
• Just
• Quite
• Good/Great

James asks her editors to ensure that something is grammatically correct for the story being told. This is especially in true dialogue. It’s unlikely you’ll find “coulda” in Victorian England, but you might find it in modern conversation.

Don’t use dialogue to convey information that the character already knows just so you can educate the reader: “As you know Bob, …”

Engage all five senses, BUT NOT ALL IN ONE PARAGRAPH!

Don’t tell the story in backstory. Your characters need to interact on the page. It’s their actions and dialogue that convey the story to the reader successfully.

The Editorial Relationship

When I interviewed her prior to the workshop, Angela talked about how the editorial relationship should be a partnership. In the workshop, she offered some concrete examples.

• When you selected a publisher, you also selected an editor and a certain editing ideology.
• Every editorial relationship is different. She maintains a professional relationship with all of her writers, but she has become good friends with some of them.
• The editorial relationship will evolve. There is more explanation earlier in the relationship, but you do develop a shorthand and a better understanding of expectations the more you work together.
• Your editor is your best line of defense against a negative review. That doesn’t mean hiring a good editor will eliminate ALL negative reviews, but they understand readers and what the market wants.

When working with an editor, you want to balance the edits with author voice. “Commas are not the hill you want to die on.” An editor should NOT eliminate your voice.  An editor should:

• Make suggestions,
• Show by example, but NOT rewriting entire paragraphs. Rewriting is the key word in that statement, changing the order of the text is not the same thing.
• You are allowed to say “I don’t agree with this, can you explain your thinking here?”
• You can’t reject every comment.
• Read the editorial letter and then walk away to give the comments time to percolate.
• When you are reviewing a contract with either an agent or a publisher, it is acceptable to ask how the editing process is handled.
• Questions to ask your editor
  • Do you read for pleasure? What?
  • Do you use Track Changes?
  • Do you offer an editorial letter?

When to stop editing.

6 years is too long.   If you are unsure if you are done, set the story aside and come back to it with fresh eyes.

By the end of the day my head was ready to explode, but in a good way. The downside of learning all these polishing tips is that when you see a lack of sophistication in a story, you can’t un-see it.

The online course is offered two times a year and will be offered again in September. Registration is now open. For more information, visit http://nicemommy-evileditor.com/before-you-hit-send/. You can also read my posts to learn more about Angela and her thoughts on publishing.

I thoroughly enjoyed the day and I’m excited to implement my new skills on my work in progress. I’m hoping my schedule will allow me to take the class in September, but if not, I will definitely be signing up for the early 2017 offering.

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Lee Laughlin is a writer, marketer, social media consumer and producer, wife, and mom, frequently all of those things at once. She blogs at Livefearlesslee.com. She writes for the Concord Monitor and her words have also appeared in a broad range of publications from community newspapers to the Boston Globe. She is currently working on her first novel, a work of contemporary, romantic fiction.

Grammar-ease: Proved vs Proven

Today is for those times when you’re not quite sure if you want to use ‘proved’ or ‘proven.’

Both prove and proven are formed from the verb prove. Here are the usage variations:

• Present tense: prove
• Simple past tense: proved
• Past participle: proved
• Irregular past participle: proven

Correct usage examples:

• He has proven his case.
• He proved his case.
• She proved he was wrong.
• She proved she can beat the competition.
• She has proven she can beat the competition.
• The competition proved they weren’t quite a challenge after all.
• That band has proven to be a crowd favorite.
• That band proved to be a crowd favorite.
• The attendees proved their love for the acoustic group.
• My parents have proven they can’t be trusted to remember to lock the door.
• My parents proved they can’t be trusted to remember to lock the door.

As you can see, either variation can be used. However, (there’s always, a ‘but’, right?) two well-used style guides – AP Stylebook and Chicago Manual of Style, recommend avoiding “proven” as a verb, but it’s one of those cases where the line is becoming blurry and both variations are becoming mainstream.

(Using proven as an adjective preceding a noun is acceptable all around. For example, a proven theory; proven right; proven innocent; proven track record; and so on.)

If either can work and you just can’t decide, read it out loud and select the variation that sounds best  — unless there is a specific style guide to follow, then, as always, follow the client’s wishes and follow the style guide!

Lisa J. Jackson is an independent writer and editor who enjoys working with businesses of all sizes. She loves researching topics, interviewing experts, and helping companies tell their stories. You can connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Resume Writing–Be Creative

On Tuesday I taught two resume workshops, and also critiqued several resumes and cover letters. This Saturday, StageSource (the day job) is having a Job Fair at the Back Bay Event Center (11-3, free for job seekers, for arts administrators, designers, technicians, stage managers, more information here). The clinics were to help theater artists either brush up or create an arts admin resume.

Resume writing is creative writing. Not “making it up” creative writing. More “style matters” creative writing. How, you may ask.

• Word choice matters. Active verbs. Using a thesaurus, and using it well.
• Show, don’t tell. Under Skills, you can list things like “ASL proficient”. That makes sense. But listing “team building” as a skill is different than showing you have that skill your job listings.
• You control your narrative. What jobs do you list? What is the story you tell with those jobs? What do you list under “Additional Experience”? What does that say about you, and your values?
• How do you put it all together? What fonts do you use? How do you lay it out?

Now, I know this doesn’t make writing resumes fun. But it does let you use your writing skills (which are, after all, superpowers) to create change.

What other practical uses for creative writing have you found?

********************

Julie Hennrikus runs StageSource. J.A. Hennrikus writes short stories. Julianne Holmes is the author of the Agatha nominated JUST KILLING TIME, the first in the Clock Shop Mystery series. They all look like the woman on the right.

 

Grammar-ease: “Should have” vs “Should of”

This is a quick grammar post.

It’s simple: “should have” and its contraction “should’ve” are correct.  As are “would have” (would’ve) and “could have” (could’ve).

Incorrect: “should of”; “could of”; “would of”; “shoulda”; “woulda”; “coulda”

• I should have (should’ve) left earlier to avoid traffic.
• He could have (could’ve) told her he was on his way so she wouldn’t leave.
• She would have (would’ve) brought a snack if she knew there was no food.
• I could’ve won that race if I had trained more!
• He should’ve had a V-8 for breakfast instead of a donut.
• She would’ve gone to the movies if she didn’t have to work.

Questions?

Happy writing!

What other grammar topics or tips would you like to see?

Lisa J. Jackson is an independent writer and editor who enjoys working with manufacturing, software, and technology businesses of all sizes. She loves researching topics, interviewing experts, and helping companies tell their stories. You can connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Grammar-ease: Using ‘who’ versus ‘that’

Similar to my last grammar post on ‘and’ versus ‘to’, I see mixed use with ‘who’ versus ‘that’ quite often.

Usage between these two words is more personal preference than a grammar rule, as ‘that’ has been used for years and using ‘who’ is a more modern choice.

For me, I choose to use ‘who’ when referring to a person or specific people and ‘that’ when referring to a group or class of people, animals, objects, or a combination of people and things.

Examples:

• Sue is a nurse who/that enjoys the late shift.
• The cat is the type who/that shreds toilet paper.
• The puppy who/that chewed my shoe is in big trouble.
• The people who/that met last night had coffee this morning.
• The cabin who/that my father built is still standing.
• It is either Mary or her magic hat who/that is to blame.
• Todd is the man who/that lives next door.
• There’s the house who/that is built into the side of the cliff.
• A company who/that makes toys can be a fun place to work.
• The man who/that had plenty of money for years has filed for bankruptcy.
• Girls who/that have long hair buy more shampoo than short-haired girls. (referring to girls in general)
• The girls who/that become cheerleaders have a lot of energy. (referring to a specific group of girls)

Since there is no hard-and-fast grammar rule for this (and if you aren’t following a specific style guide), when in doubt, use ‘that’. When referring to a person, use ‘who.’

Have you noticed this difference when reading or writing?

What other grammar topics would you like to see?

Lisa J. Jackson is an independent writer and editor who enjoys working with manufacturing, software, technology, and realty businesses of all sizes. She loves researching topics, interviewing experts, and helping companies tell their stories. You can connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. 

It’s Now a Single-Spaced World

Show of hands. Who learned to type on a typewriter?

Now keep your hand up if you double space between sentences.

Wow. Quite a few of you!

I hope this news isn’t a surprise, but double spacing is virtually no more when writing for publication. A single space is all that is needed / required between sentences for most style guides and a majority of publishers.

If you’re publishing your own blog and your own e-books you may retain the double spacing between sentences as a personal preference. But if you’re submitting for publication, a single space is all that’s needed in most cases.

*I’m saying most cases because the American Press (AP) Stylebook did call for the single space, but have gone back to the double space.

Programmers and anyone coding in HTML (for instance) on their blogs, know that it’s an effort to make a double space. Everything defaults to single space unless the special   is entered to add an additional space.

It took me a while to get in the habit of single spacing and I still find old documents that are double spaced. When I first transitioned to single spacing, it was through the find and replace feature in Word. Now it’s just habit to only use one space.

No bad things will happen if you continue to double space between sentences; however if submitting for publication (as is always the case) read the guidelines carefully and if there is a style guide handy, double-check the rule for spacing between sentences. If you can make the best first impression with a publisher, even if it’s single spacing between sentences, you should do it. Right?

I’ve had this conversation a few times over the last couple of months. Some folks are adamant about the double space; others are surprised to hear single spacing is an option; and then there are a few, like me, who have converted to single spacing and can’t imagine double spacing any more.

Where are you in the single vs double space conversation? A convert? Not ever going to single space? Single space on special occasions?

Lisa J. Jackson is an independent writer and editor who enjoys working with manufacturing, software, technology, and realty businesses of all sizes. She loves researching topics, interviewing experts, and helping companies tell their stories. You can connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Grammar-ease: When to write out numbers

Welcome to a new grammar post, lovely readers. This topic came from one of you, thank you!

When do you write out numbers?

Some consistent rules include:

• Write out small, whole numbers that are less than 10: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine
• Write out centuries and decades: twenty-first century, the Seventies
• Write out a number if it starts a sentence: Six hundred men stormed the castle. (An exception is if the sentence starts with a year: 1965 was a great year.)
• Estimated and rounded numbers over a million are a mix:
  2 million, 47 billion, 598 trillion (exact numbers are written out: 1,734,683,925; 1,985; 99,234, and so on)
• Similar to the above point, percentages, when a whole number, spell out; with decimal or fraction, use the number: thirty-seven percent (or 37 percent); 2.75%, 3 3/4%, ten percent (or 10 percent).
• When two numbers are next to each other, spell one of them out: I had a party for 4 ten-year-old children; ten 4-year-old children. (spell out the number with the fewest letters)
• Multiple numbers in a sentence — your choice to spell out or not, but be consistent with the method you choose: There were 11 horses, 6 chickens, and 2 ducks on the farm. OR There were eleven horses, six chickens, and two ducks on the farm. (Not, for instance: There were 11 horses, six chickens, and two ducks.)

Rules that vary:

• Spelling out a number in a quote. If something is a direct quote, I prefer to spell out numbers as words; but it is okay to use numbers: Robert said, “I found 57 pieces of glass on the beach.” OR Robert said, “I found fifty-seven pieces of glass on the beach.”
• Unless following a specific style guide, it’s generally a personal preference whether to write out single-word numbers (thirteen, thirty, forty, and so on) or use figures for two-word numbers (25, 31, 46, 99 and so on). Numbers containing three or more words fall into the category about about estimated/rounded numbers versus exact numbers.
• Time of day is a personal preference: 4:30AM versus four-thirty in the morning; The alarm goes off at five sharp. versus The alarm goes off at 5 sharp.

Here’s a way to keep it simple:

The overall rule of thumb: consistency is key.

Of course this doesn’t cover every rule or possibility, just an overview and place to start. Publishers and many companies have style guides that spell out their preferences, and you’ll (probably) seldom find any two alike!

Lisa J. Jackson is an independent writer and editor who enjoys working with manufacturing, software, technology, and realty businesses of all sizes. She loves researching topics, interviewing experts, and helping companies tell their stories. You can connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Writing Well: Magical Modifiers

Every once in a while, you come across a discovery that gives you the opportunity to transform your writing. This post is about just such a discovery.

The road to hell is paved with adverbs, so says Stephen King. And, who am I to argue with Mr. King.

In Dead Poet’s Society, Robin Williams’ character, John Keating, forbids his students to use the word very (the most heinously bland and meaningless modifier of them all), “… because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose.”

The case against adverbs is a strong one, with revered authors from every era and genre giving impassioned testimony against this eternal enemy of good writing:

• “Adverbs are another indication of writing failure. Exactly the right verb can eliminate the need for the adverb.” William Sloane
• “Omit needless words. Watch for adverbs that merely repeat the meaning of the verb.” Strunk and White
• “Most adverbs are unnecessary. . . . Again and again in careless writing, strong verbs are weakened by redundant adverbs.” William Zinsser

It’s enough to make you think that perhaps (along with religion, politics, and the Oxford comma), adverbs should be included on the list of things not appropriate for polite conversation.

But, in his book Becoming a Novelist, John Gardner says, “Adverbs are either the dullest tools or the sharpest in the novelist’s toolbox.” Could it be that someone is willing to mount a defense for the modifier?

One of my personal favorites, E.B. White joins Gardner on the stand with his own message of moderation, “The adjective hasn’t been built that can pull a weak or inaccurate noun out of a tight place. This is not to disparage adjectives and adverbs; they are indispensable parts of speech. Occasionally they surprise us with their power.”

Could it be, perhaps, that modifiers are not one-hundred percent evil? Might they after all have some redeeming qualities and a purpose to serve?

The answer, of course, is “yes.”

The trick is in learning how to use them wisely.

I am not yet a master of modifiers, but I did have something of an epiphany during the Fiction I Grub Street class that I attended this past fall. Actually, my discovery was less an epiphany and more a gift, served to me on a silver platter by our instructor, KL Pereira.

During our last, “wrap-up” class, we touched on a number of random topics including The Modifier. Pereira asked us to define the purpose of modifiers, and I enthusiastically raised my hand and proved myself a complete ass by saying confidently, “To clarify and/or emphasize the noun or verb it modifies.”

Though she was much too kind (and tactful) to do so, Pereira would have been well within her rights to smack an imaginary game show buzzer to indicate a tragically wrong answer.

What I learned that day was that the modifier’s job is to create friction.

What?

Adjectives and adverbs do not exist to simply corroborate or even augment. In expert hands, they are used to alter the meaning of the word they modify, to create new meaning by giving the reader something unexpected.

Let’s look at a few examples, shall we?

• In support of his claim that adverbs can, in fact, be worthy tools in the hands of an adept writer, Gardner shares this example, “Wilson rocks slowly and conscientiously – a startling word that makes the scene spring to life.” Do you see how the word conscientiously adds depth and meaning to the verb rocks?
• In the Grub Street class, Pereira shared a short piece by Angela Carter called The Kiss. Though only a couple of pages in length, this story bursts with decadent and tantalizing descriptions. Carter’s veritable army of modifiers marches through the reader’s senses without ever once sounding tired or repetitive. She writes about the “throbbing blue” of ceramic tiles and the “whirling plaits” of the peasant women. The marketplace in her story has a “sharp, green smell.” There is no question that each of Carter’s modifiers is pulling its weight.
• In The Elements of Style, Strunk and White use a bit of a poem by William Allingham to illustrate the proper use of modifiers:

    Up the airy mountain,

          Down the rushy glen,

    We daren’t go a-hunting

           For fear of little men …

The modifiers “airy” and “rushy” are unexpected and unique. They create friction that helps the writer paint a more vivid picture in the reader’s mind.

• In On Writing Well, William Zinsser writes about the dangers of “adjective-by-habit” in a fabulous little rant that bears repeating:

“Most writers sow adjectives almost unconsciously into the soil of their prose to make it more lush and pretty, and the sentences become longer and longer until they fill up with stately elms and frisky kittens and hard-bitten detectives and sleepy lagoons. … The adjective that exists solely as decoration is a self-indulgence for the writer and a burden for the reader.”

After bemoaning improper, redundant adjective use such as “yellow daffodils” and “brownish dirt,” Mr. Zinsser offers an example of appropriate adjective use, “If you want to make a value judgment about daffodils, choose and adjective like ‘garish.’”

Point taken, Mr. Zinsser. Point taken.

Training myself to exercise creativity and wisdom in my use of modifiers will be, I expect, a never-ending effort. Old habits die hard, as they say. I feel, however, better armed against the threat now that I have this new bit of knowledge tucked away in my writer’s toolbox. I hope you do, too!

.
Jamie Lee Wallace is a writer who also happens to be a marketer. She helps her Suddenly Marketing clients discover their voice, connect with their audience, and find their marketing groove. She is also a mom, a prolific blogger, and a student of the equestrian arts, voice, and trapeze (not at the same time). Introduce yourself on facebook or twitter. She doesn’t bite … usually.