Tighten your writing by removing redundancies

How many times have you written or read “He thought to himself” or “She thought to herself”? Are you grinning and nodding right now? Do you know what is wrong with these phrases? 

Let me explain: If anyone is thinking, it is to him/herself, so “to himself” and “to herself” are redundant. Simply say “he thought” or “she thought”.

Self editing is a skill all writers should have and even though it’s impossible to know everything, learning what to look for can go a long way.

There are numerous phrases in everyday language that can be shortened and I’ve listed a few below. I hope you’ll find some “ah ha” items in this list that can help you trim redundancies out of your work in progress.

A faulty miscalculation –> A miscalculation (is there any ‘perfect’ miscalculation? no, they’re all faulty)

Basic fundamentals –> Basics *or* fundamentals

Completely destroyed –> Destroyed (if it’s completely destroyed, it is destroyed)

Free gift –> Gift

Full and complete –> Full *or* complete

Past history –> Past *or* history

Refer back –> Refer

Terrible tragedy –> Tragedy  (is there ever a good tragedy?)

True facts –> Facts  (if facts are false, they would be lies)

In editing manuscripts, I have fun discovering what a particular author uses consistently without realizing it.

The s/he thought to her/himself is the most common redundant phrase I find when reading published and unpublished manuscripts.

I’m always challenged to find redundancies, or any other issues, in my own work. As writers, we know what is in our head and we assume it’s what is on the page. Reading out loud and focusing on each individual word is a great way to find errors in writing, and keeping a list of redundant phrases that you come across will help you remain aware of them – and avoid them in your own writing.

I challenge you to start keeping a list of redundant phrases you come across in any piece of work, especially your own. Do you have any to share right now?

Lisa Jackson is an editor, writer, and chocolate lover. She’s addicted to Sudoku, cafés, and words. She writes fiction as Lisa Haselton, has an award-winning blog for book reviews and author interviews, and is on the staff of The Writer’s Chatroom where she gets to network with writing professionals on a weekly basis — and you can, too! © Lisa J. Jackson, 2011

21 thoughts on “Tighten your writing by removing redundancies

  1. thank you – interesting post
    here’s two maybe’s ?

    Forever till the end of time

    Dark shadow.. is there a light shadow?

    • I agree with Forever till the end of time….but waffle on the dark shadow since there are different shades of gray 🙂 – it would depend on the sentence/context for that one to jump out at me I think.

  2. I used “And” way too much. I will just keep adding, and adding, and adding to a setence until it is four sentences in one. All with that wonderful little word “and” :).

    Thanks for an interesting article!

    • Wow, Erica…do you ever do a ‘search’ and actually get a count of how many ands are on a page? That might floor you too. 🙂 Commas can be your friend, you know.

      thanks for the reply

  3. The…terrible tragedy …is always popping up in my work..thanks so much.
    When I reread a page or two..I cringe…
    Thanks again..more for the notebook

  4. Great piece! I find myself perpetrating redundancies myself!

    My personal favorites: descend down…what other direction is there for descending? And circle around..again, directionally self-explanatory!

    • Those two are great, Gig Girl. 🙂

      That brings a couple more to mind – “shrug your shoulders” (“shrug” is fine on its own), and “nodded his head” (“nodded” can stand alone)

  5. … on the way going
    … s/he returned back

    may i ask, what’s the best way to say this “s/he asked me to tell you so so and so”… I heard a shorter form in a movie I don’t remember… “she said to tell you so so and so”. is this ok?

    • Hi Joseph,

      Thanks for sharing the examples.

      As far as your question – You could remove “She asked me to” and go with “She said so, so, and so.” It would be implied that the speaker was asked to relay the message. Or if that’s too short, “She said to tell you” or “She wanted you to know”

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